Matthew Emirzian's
"Wishing for Hope"
Chapter 5 : Dreams of
God
Fei was suspended in mid air, lying on his back, deeply folded
away in dream. All around him, a dreamy column of clouds rose
high above, a mixture of yellow and white pastel, shining light
piercing through the breaks in it's structure. This beautiful
mixture extended as far as he could perceive; there was no
beginning to it, and conversely, there was no foreseeable end.
His eyes were wide open, staring upwards, and he could feel his
dry lips, open in a surprised expression. He was conscious of his
senses, but had a hard time distinguishing the normal feeling of
body. The only way he perceived his form came from a source that
was not his, strangely watching himself from high above. It was
like being able to see from two different sets of eyes at the
same time, without needing to concentrate on either one. The
long, black ponytail of his hair was gently flowing in the soft,
wavelike wind coming down on him. His arms were spread outward,
and his legs closed together. The muscular, defined lines of his
naked, lithe body made the scene almost a work of art.
In fact, along with the dual sight, it seemed like there was
something else occupying his consciousness, making itself known
to him. A throbbing, familiar essence that was calling, beckoning
him to share his thoughts and memories with it. Gentle waves
moved through the sky and Fei's body. Whatever he saw himself out
of, it was coming closer towards him, and his own eyes revealed
to him a burning star..
Suddenly, a startling revelation hit him, as he jerked in sleep,
twisting in his camping pack. He knew he had been here before,
seen the same light, the same feeling. A drop or two of sweat
rolled down his forehead, and his teeth grit.
In his thoughts he could see a face, approaching closer with the
coming of the star, disrupting whatever common ebb and flow there
was around him. As it reached him, he realized that these waves
were different from the ones he had just felt, they were
lifelike, moving, thinking. They, or, it was alive, conscious,
aware. What's more, the face he saw was familiar, he knew it. It
was Krelians, but it was also different : immeasurable power
shone behind the visage.
Another drop of water slid down Fei's face, but it hadn't come
from his forehead. The huge mental burden of the dream had lifted
and flown off, leaving his miserably drenched body awake. He left
his head motionless, aware of the time being just before dawn.
There was a bad taste in his mouth, as he had been neglecting his
personal hygiene and forgetting to wash in the past week.
The soft light cracking beyond the horizon was partially shining
through his shelter tent, weaving through the mesh of fibers. He
brought his arms out of the sleeping bag and put his hands
beneath his head, looking up into the tents roof and partial sky
above. Krelian's face, the blue hair, the thin golden tiara
around his head, that fatalistic frown of his. It was ingrained
in his memory, repeated so many times.
'What am I looking for..? What am I fleeing from..?' These
dreams had been coming over him, stronger by the passing months.
As a result, he fled from place to place even quicker.
'I feel so... helpless.' His thoughts danced like flames
across the rich palette of memories stored within him. Kim, the
scientist doctor, who lived 4,000 years ago, Lacan, the talented
painter and martial artist, 500 years before his time. Yet he
knew that they were him, previous versions of his body and fate.
'If there is no more destiny for me to fulfill of God, why
must these dreams continue? Why is it me, who has to live so
long? It must be fate.' Fei was surprised at the logical,
swift, and accusatory movements flowing through his thoughts. 'That
old sage... Taura. He saved Elly and I when we were dying so long
ago in that forest. But I know, I just know he could have
recovered us in other ways. There must be a reason to this...
life.'
He raised his hands up before his eyes, not quite thinking about
the motion. Looking over his palms, the gentle complexity of his
hands, he sighed. 'Whose body do I really posses?' and to
pause and add thought to his dreams, 'Why is Krelian reaching
for me from the wave existence?'
He knew these questions would not remain unanswered forever. Yet,
he also did not want to face the changes the answers would bring.
There was a kind of resignment in his thoughts and feelings.
'Can't I just live peacefully now?'
--
Hyuga had left Elly and the young child in the care of the nurse,
walking off with amazing vigor for his age. He was atleast in his
mid-eighties, aging gracefully, yet also winding down like a
beautiful sunset, his youth now over, but not completely gone.
Elly had wondered as to whether Fei and Hyuga had ever talked,
long and hard, about their relations with each other after the
death of Deus. Hyuga was appointed as a guardian angel over Fei,
to watch him and make sure he was not a threat to Deus'
ressurection. The thought of Hyuga spreading a full pair of angel
wings was not hard to imagine, she felt, as her thoughts
wandered.
The Yggdrasil, legendary tree of life. She had ridden in it, and
then when it was redesigned, flown in it. Closing her eyes
briefly, she tried to imagine the thing buried deep within Bart's
hidden fortress, no light reaching it's black, oblong shaped
hull. It was a strange notion, looking at the thing, then
claiming that it could fly. As if by some sort of advanced
aerodynamics, two sets of wings was all it needed to take to the
skies.
Then there was the other problem with the Yggdrasil. Besides
digging it up, who today was alive and knew how to operate the
thing? A brief flicker image of the feisty young crew of the
Yggdrasil sitting in their designated positions as senior
citizens caused her to smile to herself, then reach back into
contemplation. Maybe, she thought, it had an autopilot system of
some sort.
On that same night, Elly was asleep in Hyugas personal living
space. After long thought on the days progression and an adequate
meal, she had crawled into his bed and snuck herself into sleep.
The bed took up most of the small room, its only other provisions
being a desk with pen, ink, and paper handy. Her heavy pack lay
to the side of the slightly open door, the light from the outside
casting a dying light across the room and the equipment. Her red
hair was cast out long and dipped off the bed; the soft rays of
light that managed to hit the strands gleamed in refraction. She
now was laying motionless, sleeping peacefully.
.........
Dreaming. Yes, Elly was dreaming also.
The nurse was sitting at her desk, when in the other room, she
heard one of the girls staying here vomit quite noisily and with
much pain. As she stood up and rushed towards the Doctors
personal room, there was a continuation of coughing and groaning.
"Oh my God.. are you allright?" the nurse opened the
door wide and got an eyeful of what had just happened. One side
of the bed, where the girls head had been facing, was soaked with
fluids, the rest was caught on her clothing and chin. She was on
her knees, rollen off the bed, coughing loudly.
"I must tell Shitan and Fei about this... dream."
Elly's eyes were completely blurred, and only heard muddled
noises. That was the one thought that crept through her head
before she fell unconscious.
Synopsis